We
hear from many people who write to us that they are anguished
over past hurts inflicted either to themselves or onto others.
We recognize that many of our readers are filled with guilt
because of these acts. These could be acts of selfishness,
jealousy, or anger, but they are all acts that deserve forgiveness.
Learning to forgive yourself and others is a lesson we must
all learn on our spiritual journey. Let me give you an example
from one of our readers whose parents recently passed over.
This woman was filled with remorse and guilt over acts that
she felt she committed against her parents that were selfish.
She felt she didn't ever do enough to please her parents.
She didn't love them enough. She didn't see them enough. She
didn't provide enough for them. The list continues, but the
feelings all deserve the same treatment...forgiveness. She
needs to forgive herself and her parents and move forward.
Guilt, regret and sorrow can completely immobilize you. We
all must learn the power of forgiveness, not only to others,
but most importantly for ourselves. Guilt is a self defeating
process and will turn any sparkle of light into instant and
complete darkness.
Forgiveness of others is very important. Although not easy,
forgiveness of yourself is the birthing ground to continue
growth in mind and in spirit. We, as humans, make judgments
and decisions based on how it effects us at the time and sometimes
we live to regret it. We all try to do the best we can at
the time, even though it may not seem so.
The act of forgiveness is one of the great gifts of spiritual
life. It enables us, and the world, to be released from the
sorrows of the past. Forgiveness is an act of the heart, a
movement to let go of the resentment and outrage that we have
carried for too long. It eases the burden of our pain in our
hearts.
To forgive does not mean that we condone the misdeeds of another
or ever allow them again. It acknowledges that no matter how
much we have suffered, we will not put another human being
out of our heart. We have all been harmed, just as we have
all, at times, harmed ourselves and others.
For most people, forgiveness is a process. The work of forgiveness
goes through many stages, during which you may feel grief,
rage, sorrow, fear and confusion. In the end, when you let
yourself feel the pain you carry, forgiveness comes as a relief,
as a release for your heart. You will see that forgiveness
is fundamentally for your own sake, a way to let go of the
pain of the past.
I encourage each of you to practice forgiveness meditation.
Let yourself sit comfortably, allowing your eyes to close
and your breath to be natural and easy. Let your body and
mind relax. Breathing gently into the area of your heart,
let yourself feel all the barriers you have erected and the
emotion that you have carried because you have not forgiven
both yourself and others. Let yourself feel the pain of keeping
your heart closed. Then breathing softly, begin asking and
extending forgiveness, reciting the following words, letting
the images and feelings that come up grow deeper as you repeat
them. "There are many ways that I have hurt and harmed others,
have betrayed or abandoned them, caused them suffering, knowingly
or unknowingly, out of my own pain, anger and confusion. There
are many ways that I have hurt and blamed myself. There are
many ways that I have been harmed by others in thought word
or deed." Let yourself remember and visualize the ways you
have hurt others, yourself or have been the victim of pain
caused by others. See and feel the pain you have caused out
of your own fear and confusion. Feel your own sorrow and regret.
Sense that you can finally release this burden and ask for
forgiveness. Then release the burden of pain by extending
forgiveness to those who have caused you harm. Picture each
memory that still burdens your heart. And then to each person
in your mind repeat, "I ask for your forgiveness, I forgive
myself or I forgive you."
Forgiveness cannot be forced. Simply continue the practice
and let the words and images work gradually in their own way.
In time you can make this forgiveness meditation a regular
part of your life, letting go of the past and opening your
heart to each new moment with a wise and loving heart.
