spiritual path was the ability to love being alone.

The spiritual road can be a lonely one, when family members and friends don’t quite understand the changes that you need to undergo as you progress in your spiritual life. Sometimes, being guided by spirit includes getting rid of things in your life that no longer serve you well, even people and situations that aren’t serving you in any particular way.

Some years ago, after my divorce, I started intense work on spiritual growth in my life. It was somewhat like cleaning out the closets. It has been said that there is a correlation between the conditions of our closets and our mental health. I found that, for me, this was true. There was a process of removing myself from situations and circumstances that did not bring me joy, or caused me stress. People who had a negative outlook or had a draining effect on me were the first to divest myself of. Situations that I had only tolerated underwent change, until I reached a point where I had eliminated those things that caused unnecessary stress. Instead of thinking in terms of “selfish”, I began to think in terms of “self care”.

Going through the process of “cleaning out my closet” presented me with a time of solitude. I had no significant relationship in my life, and I learned to relate to people in a much more meaningful way. Looking back, I now realize that I could have benefited from even more time alone, but even that fact was not without it’s lessons.

You might not be accustomed to being by yourself, but when you walk the path, sometimes it’s necessary to be physically and emotionally isolated, for a time. This does not mean, that you need to become a hermit, withdrawing from life. But it does mean, however, that you will need to build up enough spiritual strength to become “whole” by yourself, without having to rely on others for love or support. When we depend on outside forces to provide enough validation to make us feel good about ourselves, we have given our power away, and become unnecessarily vulnerable.

Once you are able to be “whole, not needing someone else to make you a fulfilled person, then you will find that people will gravitate towards you, sensing your inner strength and security. By loving yourself without reserve, your ability to enjoy life without a significant relationship increases. The paradox is that the one you’ve been waiting for appears in your life at that very time when you do not have to have someone.