I
have had a client that begged me to “help them forget”
something that happened in their past or something painful
that has happened to them. They just don't want the memory
to haunt them anymore. These clients make sure that certain
subjects or events are not talked about, brought up, and avoided.
They have tried to eliminate anything in their life that could
possibly remind them of the incident, and generally waste
a great deal of time and effort "trying to forget." Strangely
enough, by trying so hard to forget it, they're holding on
to the painful memory very tightly. What we resist, persists.
My clients have confused "release" with forgetting or stuffing.
Release is a letting go of
the emotional energy around the incident.
I teach a simple technique called “dissociating”. One
technique of dissociating is to say, with conviction, "That
incident is in the past. It is not now." Or "I'm no longer
that person". Your attachment to the incident gradually
diminishes, like when you look at old school pictures and
smile at the clothes you once thought looked so cool, or
the ideas you held then or the relationships that once meant
so much to you. There is no emotional energy attached to the
incident any longer and it's somewhat like telling a story
of a movie you watched. Someone else did it and you can recall
it, but there is no emotional
attachment.
By releasing the past, good and bad alike, you can begin to
associate with who you are now. Many find their life becoming
richer and more relevant when they begin to truly live in
the NOW.
Are you trying to forget or to release?
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