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|
| The
Awakening |
 |
| By
Virginia Swift |
A
time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the
midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your
tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out
ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your
sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink
back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin
to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.
You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting
for something to change or for happiness, safety and security
to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms
with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not
Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always
fairy tales endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that
any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin
with you, and in the process, a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or
what you are and that's O.K. They are entitled to their own
views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving
and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of new
found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things
they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that
the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don’t always say what they mean
or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be
there for you and that it’s not always about you. So,
you learn to stand on your own and to take care or yourself
and in the process a sense of safety and security is born
of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept
people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and
human frailties and in the process a sense or peace and contentment
is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the
world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions
that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift
through all the “stuff” you’ve been fed about
how to behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh
and what you should wear and where you should shop and what
you should drive, how and where you should live and what you
should be doing for a living, who you should sleep with, who
you should marry and what you should expect from a marriage,
the importance of having and raising children or what you
owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of
view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and
what you really stand for. You learn the difference between
wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines
and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought
into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And
that there is power and glory in creating and contributing
and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer”
looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such
as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a
bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not
your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a
pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility
and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say
NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose
to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving
and when to walk away.
You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto
a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful,
more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the
man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and
not as you would have them to be. You stop trying to control
people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people
grow and change so it is with love...and you learn that you
don’t have the right to demand love on your terms...just
to make YOU happy.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in
the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never
be a size five or a perfect “10” and you stop trying
to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over
how you “stack up.”
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly O.K.... and that it
is your right to want things and to ask for the things that
you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated
with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t
settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover
who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch...and in the
process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple, and you
begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin
eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more
time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit
and can create doubt and fear. So, you take more time to rest.
And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul,
so you take more time to laugh and play.
You learn, for the most part, in life you get what you believe
you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling
prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth
working for and that wishing for something to happen is different
than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success
you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also
learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s O.K.
to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great
robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. You learn to step
right into and through your fears because you know that whatever
happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give
away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to
fight for your life and not to squander it living under a
cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t
always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad
things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions
you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t
punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s
just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -
the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy,
and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will
suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that
surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to
building bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the
simple things we take for granted, things that millions of
people upon the earth can only dream about, a full refrigerator,
clean running water, a soft warm bed, or a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself
and to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and
to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen
to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side
you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to
design the life you want to live as best you can. |
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