What
Does She Expect Anyway?
Every woman is different, with her own personality, so what
I'm writing here is just a generalization. You need to get
to know the women you are with, and find out what she wants.
If you aren't willing to do that, then ask yourself why are
you dating her? If all she is to you is a pretty women to
make you look good, you need to re-think your priorities.
I like pretty women too, but if I don't feel that she's my
friend, I don't want to go out with her.
She expects you to be her friend.
What does it mean to be a woman's friend? The same as it does
to be a man's, you have to have some things in common. Note
that I said some not all. No two people are the same, and
there will be some things you like, that she doesn't, and
some things she likes that you don't. That's OK, as long as
you have enough in common that you can enjoy being together.
Sometimes you will have to bite the bullet, and do something
you don't really enjoy, and other times it's OK to let her
do things without you. You should be able to expect the same
from her too. If she suggests you go to some event, or whatever
without her, believe her when she says it's OK. You don't
get upset when one of your male friends doesn't want to do
something with you, or has interests you don't share, it should
be the same with her. It's good to go out with
the boys once in awhile, but you should usually prefer to
be with her, or better yet have her join you when you do something,
she's your friend remember? If you find that you would rather
leave her behind when you are out with your friends, then
you need to ask yourself if you really want to be with her
at all.
She expects you to communicate with her.
As a rule when men talk to someone about a problem, they are
looking for answers; women in general are different. They
will talk to you about a problem to express how they feel.
They usually aren't looking for answers; they just want to
talk about it to straighten things out in their own minds.
Unless she asks for advice, don't offer it. Just listen, and
keep the conversation going. If she wants advice she will
ask for it.
There are some men that still think a woman's opinion doesn't
mean anything, I'm sorry, but if you are one of those men,
you need to change your attitude now! Women are intelligent
and capable, and you need to respect her opinions; you don't
need to always agree with them, but she has the right to her
opinions the same as you do to yours.
Be willing to ask for her advice, and to talk to her about
whatever is
happening in your life. Be willing to listen to what she has
to say, and to support her when she's having a problem with
something. When I say listen, I mean you need to actually
pay attention, she's telling you how she feels, and you need
to know that if you are going to be her friend!
She expects you to understand her sexuality.
Men appear to be UN-emotional when it comes to sex, and operate
on pure
lust. That's not true, but we can go from 0 to 100 in 5.2
seconds. It takes longer for a woman. It takes awhile for
a woman to get aroused. I'm not talking about foreplay in
physical terms, but emotional foreplay. It's little things,
like how you look at her when she walks into the room, being
willing to hold her hand in public, saying nice things about
her to your friends, and just letting her know you appreciate
her that will get her in the mood for love. I'm not telling
you this to help you seduce your women, but to help you understand
why she's not in the mood when you roll over in the morning
after a night out in the bar.
She expects romance.
OK, you aren't the romantic type, neither am I. You don't
need to write love poems, or send her flowers every day. Little
things can make a big
difference. Things like actually asking her out on a date,
an occasional call from work, complementing her in front of
her friends.
Here's a quote from a friend of mine, Debbie Anderson...
"Women do a lot of little things and men tend to do one big
thing, but women regard each little thing they do separately
and equal, where men seem to think that one big thing covers
for all the little things! You see, that's a big secret....if
men could learn to do all the little things they wouldn't
need to do the big thing!"
Let her know you love her, and you will be plenty romantic
enough, but "do" show her that you love her.
What she really expects is for you to show her that you love
and respect her. That shouldn't be too hard should it?
Gary Caine - mailto:gcaine@singlescafe.net
Copyright 1999
Gary Caine is proprietor The Singles Cafe Put some adventure
into your love life. Visit The Singles Cafe at http://www.singlescafe.net/
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