1. Silence your mind.
Decide you
won't speak until you are reasonably silent inside. Should your
mind be running a marathon, commit to not engage in any
conversation until you feel relaxed again.
2. Be a clear motivational listener.
What are
your intentions, your motivations in engaging in a conversation?
Do you have any agendas, any undelivered communication that could
create friction? Do you have anything to prove? Choose to be happy
rather than right.
3. Hear it: this is only a test.
Think of the
next conversation as an exercise in self-mastery. Can you forget
yourself for a moment, your needs, your wants, your desires, and
really meet the other being as a beautiful expression of life, and
his story as an awesome creation?
4. Exercise all your senses.
Listening is
a deliberate action, where each sense is a gate to the message.
Open to listening with your eyes, with your hands, with your nose,
even if your communication happens on the phone. Literally taste
her words.
5. Dance with your partner.
Think of
listening as a romance, as the most generous gesture of love you
could offer your date. Imagine your listening being the coat you
lay on water for her to not wet her feet. Acknowledge what she
says, as you move with her in a synchronized rhythm, by nodding,
asking questions, and getting consensus.
6. Adopt an explorer mind.
See if you
can stop assuming that you know what he is going to say, and truly
listen, bringing the same attentiveness you would have to the
whodunit movie whose ending you did not know.
7. Relax and have fun.
Enjoy
yourself; you may be surprised how pleasant a conversation
becomes, when you release your need for control. A breath of fresh
air, indeed. Inhale the energizing flavor of such listening into
your lungs, into your heart.
8. Respond and connect.
Practice
response-ability, rather than emotional reaction. This is Tantra
we are choosing, not tantrum! Do not take anything personally.
Remind yourself that this is not about "you!"
9. Shift into compassion.
Imagine what
it would feel like to be in her shoes. Stretch a little, and ask
yourself where you might have done or been the very thing you are
passing judgment on.
10. Appreciate. Appreciate some more. And again.
Experience
the oneness of the giving and the receiving of your listening, the
love making it is, the tremendous opportunity to merge with the
sacredness of the being in front of you! Take the vow of supreme
appreciation: "I am here (hear) with you now!"
|
This piece was originally submitted by Mahalene Louis, Inspiration
Coach, Artist, Author, and Speaker. Copyright
2000-2003 CoachVille, LLC. May be distributed if full attribution is
given and copyright notice is included. |
Cheryl is a
Relationship Coach who can help you effectively communicate with friends,
partners, and employers.
Call her now!
To
schedule a session with Cheryl, you must first have placed your order
for
a live psychic reading, coaching, or counseling session, then call the
number provided on your receipt from PayPal.
Cheryl will call you back at her expense in the United States.
Canadian callers will need to send me an email to arrange the time for you to
call me.
Sessions can be booked in 20 minute increments.
All material on web site
Copyright(c) 2003 Cherokee Angel
All material on web site
Copyright(c) 2003 Cherokee Angel
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
